The Queen Bee!

An interaction I had earlier in the year, which on occasion still crosses my mind, has prompted this post.

Sadly over the years I have observed a type of senior female, who in studies and articles is often referred to as a “Queen Bee”. I am not going to delve in the psychology of the why, nor reference any scholarly articles (there is plenty you can find on this topic if you are interested in reading more). I am, however, wanting to call this out, so as a self-awareness piece, you can stop yourself from heading down this path.

A Queen Bee is often described, amongst other things, as someone who is harder on female subordinates than males. She is also known to block other women, either as peers, or for those coming through behind them. I have no idea why anyone would do this.

I am observing this less in the new senior leaders coming through, so wonder whether the difficulties some women faced when trying to push through the ranks in the 80’s and 90’s, shaped some of this behaviour.

That sounds a solid theory, however does not explain why there are equally, so many amazing, supportive female executives who would have had the same challenges, however have spent their careers, supporting and nurturing other women. Nor does it explain the interaction I mentioned earlier. She was quite a bit younger than the age group of the eras noted.

All I can assume is that this behaviour is either a personality type, a chip on the shoulder, or a lack of self-confidence. I like to believe this is driven by an underlying problem, needing to be addressed, rather than someone just being nasty.

Strength, resilience and self-belief are all important traits in moving through the ranks, in particular if you work in a male dominated industry. Fantastic, you are moving ahead and kicking goals, but please, please, be the woman who supports, guides and gives “a leg up” to other woman.

Think about how hard it is without this and be generous with your time. It is not a free ride, however mentoring, coaching and support are characteristics of real leaders. Bullying, blocking and being a Queen Bee are not. If I had to think about what I wish I knew back in my early days, it would be how to not be hurt or offended by a Queen Bee. It would be seeing the signs and being strong enough to acknowledge it is just bad behaviour and kindness to others is far more important. Do I wish I had done more to support other women along the way? This has only been a real focus of mine over the past 10 years, so yes absolutely I wish I had of done more in my earlier leadership roles. It is much harder of course in the early years when you are on a development path yourself, however you can always help somebody in a more junior role or just someone who is struggling. You will never be an expert in everything, nor can you help everyone. You do know, however, when something is not right or where you can provide a hand. Even just a bounce point, different point of view or a listening ear.

We will never move the dial of more women in executive roles if a community of conscious support is not created. It is going to take the effort of many, at all levels.

If you are not already actively mentoring or guiding, stop for a moment right now and think about one or two women who you could offer your time to and help them on their way. Reach out to them next week and make a difference to someone else.

Until next time

Lisa