Why do we worry so much about what others think?

I don’t believe anyone has the answer to this particular question. Experienced, inexperienced, younger, older, the majority of us spend way too much time worrying about what others think, allowing undue influence on important decisions.

I am not suggesting for a minute, that we run along without any regard for others. Self -awareness is so critical in understanding the impact we have and the ramifications of our actions and decisions. Who does not want to be a kind and empathetic person? Our wasted time and effort, is where we are purely worried by thoughts of others, on decisions we have made, or situations we have found ourselves in, where there is no real impact to anyone but ourselves.

What if others think my ideas are stupid, or criticize how I go about things? What will others think if I am made redundant, or a colleague gets that promotion, that I was in the running for?

What will others think if I take a role, with a less recognised brand? What if my new title does not sound impressive enough? Will others think I was not good enough, or have been demoted? What will people think!

So many things to worry about and so little time! All of those self-doubt voices, chattering away inside our heads. It’s exhausting and adds layers of unnecessary, distracting stress.

Criticism of you by others, may come from their jealousy, their own unhappiness, or just from a place of a different view. Do we doubt ourselves and our decisions, if someone says we are crazy to do something? Of course we do. Depending on the level of criticism or questioning, it can be paralyzing, or even sway our decisions.

How much of our worry is assumed and just our minds at play? Why do we care so much that the job might be perceived to be smaller than before, or a step back, if it is something that we really want?

If you have ended up in a situation where you have been driven to take a role that is a sideways step, smaller role or lower position, hold your head high and focus on just doing a great job. The more we invest in worrying about what others think, the more we start to doubt our own ability. The more we are distracted, the more likely to have our eye off the ball and not perform to our full potential. Even if there has been chatter, people will move on to something else in a very short period of time. Ignore them.

Most of us have had to restart/rebuild and get back on our career trajectory. If you find yourself in this situation, refocus on your aspiration, build your plan and re stoke that fire in your belly.

If you have deliberately chosen a path that others may perceive as “going backwards”, you don’t need to justify what you have done. You may have decided to jump off the corporate treadmill or intentionally stepped back, to join a company who's purpose inspires you. Craft your simple response and enjoy what you have chosen to do. Its your life, your career and you are doing what makes you happy. I do believe that those who are so focused on others, are simply unhappy with their own choices and where they are, with nothing better to do with their time!

So make your decisions and create your path. Learn from situations that are not as ideal as you would you like and rebuild where you need. Recognise and manage the negative noise in your mind. Be gracious, smile and show just how amazing you are.

Until next time

Lisa